I stayed positive. My previous year long illness I feel prepared me well for this so staying positive was easy for me as I had already faced many of the demons during that time. I know from reading several blogs most struggle mentally more that I did but I never had any sadness or real emotional reactions and just cracked on with been my usual positive self.
I would still get some corona anxiety cause even the doctor explained during chemo I would be now high risk for a negative outcome should I catch it. And I could sometimes drive myself a little mad reading all the possible side effects of the chemo and the risks involved etc. For me I was given the news on a Tuesday with a booking to have my PICC line fit the following Tuesday and starting my chemo the day after. A PICC line is basically a more permanent cannula which can stay if for the full length of treatment which means no needles involved to administer the drugs or extract blood which makes the whole process much simpler and more painless.
All I would say to anyone who becomes concerned with the side effects and begins to let all these possibilities worry and cause you stress. DON‘T WASTE YOUR TIME. The best thing to remember is the cancer is definitely trying to kill you now. It is advantageous to do your homework and prepare yourself for what to look out and how you will want to react if needed during chemo but remember, they are only possible side effect which will be dealt with if and when needed at the time. The cancer in your body is very much trying to kill you right now and should be the only thing you should be concerned about and the chemo is the therapy which will make you better.
For me by the time I got to Friday which was now good Friday with the Easter weekend ahead I had put any stressing on these matters behind and focused in on the task at hand. Going to chemo and fighting this B*****D and getting it the hell outta my body.
One side effect which could effect me most is called peripheral neuropathy, which is damage to the nerves of the hand and feet. More often the toes and ends of your fingers. A concern of mine, as just about the only passion I have is making music and playing my guitar, which I had taken up again over the last three years having been inspired by getting my dad into playing the bass after my Moms RIP ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Was taken from us far too early. My dad is a diabetic amputee and over the last year we formed the The JLP with the intention of performing a gig together with him on bass and me on guitar and vocals. As the whole cancer thing now threw a spanner in the works and the threat of this neuropathy I decided we would film a video on Easter Sunday of us jamming for him to post to his Facebook and to try entertain our friends and family during corona lockdown. I also uploaded a copy to YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZK_MqZX4Bc if you wanna check it out. That was an awesome day and left me and dad buzzing on a high.
Monday and Tuesday was just a case of getting prepared for the chemo which for three occasions during my 9 week treatment cycle would mean stopping at the hospital hotel for two nights during the times I would receive three days of infusions. All treatment centres have their own ways of delivering the BEP treatment with some doing 5 day stretches. My treatment was 3 days followed weekly by a half day day treatment twice and then the cycle will begin again. Each cycle been 21 days hence BEPx3 lasting for 9 weeks.
I think the only time I got a little emotional was when starting to pack my case on Monday night. I think that just made it all very real I guess but this didn’t last long and a few breathing exercises soon resolved this. Tuesday was far to hectic to stop and think with so much to sort out and the following day would be the start of the adventure